Invasion of the Snapes
by irat
Summary: A woman enters the Great Hall. Is this.. Snapes MOM? ONE SHOT Betaed.


DISCLAIMER: Nothing of the HPuniverse is mine. Especially Snape.

AN: this is my first fanfiction which I deemed „good enough" to publish

This story is betaed by the wonderful Maren, but please remember, I´m not a native.

Reviews of all kind are really appreciated.

This story is a little bit inspired by Of Mothers and Dinners by nahimana

Summary: a woman enters the Great Hall. Is this.. Snapes MOM??

* * *

The invasion of the Snapes

It was dinner time and every inhabitant of Hogwarts was sitting in the Great Hall. Everbody ate, drunk and laughed and had overall a good time.

Suddenly one could hear a shrill shriek of „SEVVVVYYYYY" through the entire hall and the doors of the Great Hall opened with a loud bang. Hundreds of eyes looked intently at the newcomer. It was a beautiful woman with long black hair. Unfortunately, she was clothed too bright. Her pink skirt and the turquoise blouse combined with the yellow-dotted bow in her hair was blinding.

The woman walked straight to the potions master, followed by her luggage and a thick cloud of perfume. The potionmaster was shocked and was only able to murmur repeatedly and with a gaze of absolute horror :"No".

Everyone, regardless whether it was a pupil, a teacher or a ghost followed captivated the spectacle.

Barely arrived at the potionmaster the stranger pulled him from his chair and squeezed him to her bosom. Still being aghast, poor Severus tried to escape, but it was too late. The first teachers and also a few of the pupils tried to supress a laugh and even so they produced a giggle. They listened attentively to the strange woman, who still held Severus strong at his shoulders and inspected him now: „Ohh Sevilein, how pale you are! You aren´t spending enough time in the sun. Don't you follow my advices? Believe me, son, even if you are 37 years old, you will never be too old to listen to the advice of your mommy. Always these potions. You have to get some fresh air! Enjoy the sun. Go sunbathing! Believe me, my boy, that works true wonders. But no, you´re always in the dungeons and do experiments with your next invention. That´s all your fathers fault. He always had to protect you! Konrad, I said, Konrad make sure that your son spends time outside, play quidditch with him or whatever you men do together. But of course he didn´t listen. He only answered: "Let the boy be. He has fun!". And now? What did you become? A skeleton, pale as death, gaunt and skinny (she poked him in the side). And these black robes… tststs. I told you a thousand times, you should dress yourself more colorful. Black, that's so...bland... dreary…depressive. I wrote to you ,didn´t I? And told you that you should wear turquoisecolored robes with a hint of green. Honestly Sevchen , they emphasize your eyes so wonderful!

Did you at least find a partner? Really Sev, I don´t mind you being gay, but I think you should bring home someone soon. Especially when you won´t gift me with grand-children…Not yet? No? Well, with the associations you keep, that's no surprise. For the past years I´ve been telling you that you should let the deatheaters be deatheaters. I told Konrad the same. Konrad, I said, Konrad talk to your son, it can´t continue like that. But does someone listen to me? Do you listen to your poor, old mother? NO, of course not!" She took a big breath to continue, but Snape took the chance to finally say something: „Mother, mother! MOTHER! I ..am glad that you're visiting me. Of course I will introduce you...to my partner (whispering from the pupils (SNAPE? HE had a PARTNER?)(and really ...Snape was gay?) But may I inquire what the inducement for your visit is?"

Then Severus mother broke down and clung herself to Snape: „Oh Sevvy, it´s terrible. Your father and I had an argument. I know it wouldn´t be the first time but your father said, that this time a therapy and and a cruise wouldn´t make everything all right again. We seperated! I know that's already the 34th time but your daddy said that this time it would be definitely. And not even one of your sisters was able to change his mind! What shall I do? He doesn´t want me at home anymore! And I didn´t know where to go. And then I remembered that my little Sevvysweetie lives in a castle and that he surely has, for a few weeks, room for his dear mommy..."

Snape had a indescribable mix of horror, shock and refusal on his face – to the great enjoyment of the audience who –once again-began to giggle.

Despite his obvious alarm Snapes voice stayed calm and soft: „Great Mother, that´s wonderful that you want to stay here, I´m sure Professor Dumbledore can give you a few rooms who would be to your liking. But I won´t have many opportunities to spend time with you, so why aren´t you going to visit Aunt Elle or Aunt Susell? You always liked spending your time with them, didn´t you?" Scandalized said : „What? Visit them? Those gossip mongers? If I go to them, everybody on this island will know immediately that your father and I seperated.

No, no, no, I will stay here. I will find something to occupy my time."

With a deep, desperate sigh Snape nodded and conjured a chair for his mother so that she could join them for dinner.

--

An exhausted looking potionprofessor sat - enjoying the rare silence - in the Great Hall and had breakfast. He drank his coffee and awaited with dread the arrival of his mother. In the last two weeks he didn't have one peaceful minute. It really had been a big torture. Only recently he found out and could only prevent in the last second that his mother told the whole teaching staff more embarassing childhoodstories. MORE! Of course the entire castle now knew the other childhood stories. She tidied up his rooms and, worse, his laboratory!

In the last moment he found her and he was forced to argue with her, in the middle of the corridor, about his precious and, admittedly, less than presentable, ingredients. She wanted to do him a favour and throw the whole "trash" away ! He needed more than 45 minutes to convince her to give him his ingredients back and she gave him the promise to ask him first, before she would clear his laboratory out again. Everyone in Hogwarts was amused of this spectacle and didn´t miss one second. Even in the middle of a lesson did she barge in and proposed seriously to hold the lesson course only after she criticized his teaching methods and declared she raised him better! But yesterday was really over the top. She bought him a shining lilac robe and only with much effort he could avoid wearing it.

And now was once again a new day !

Inwardly trembling Snape anticipated the newest escapades from his mother – but his mother didn´t even get a chance to realise one of her ideas. Because only a few minutes after she arrived for breakfast a little, bald man entered the Great Hall. The chubby figure and the gentle eyes portrayed him as an good-natured person.

The moment Snape's mother saw the shape she stand up abruptly and ran to the man.

The man spread his arms and welcomed Hildegard with a big hug. Hildegard laid sobbing in the arms of the stranger but after half an hour she was finally able to calm down. In the meantime Snape got up and waited patiently until his mother got a grip on herself. Finally, Hildegard was able to loosen her grip on the stranger. Then the man went to Snape, pulled the obviously taller Severus down to him, gave him a strong hug, thumped him on the back and said: "Well, my boy, how are you? It´s great to see you again. Seems you looked well after your mother. But now I am going to kidnap her, we have already planned sth. You know son, I speak from experience, make-up sex is the best!

A shocked "Father!" from Snape and a pleased "Konrad!" followed his declaration.

--

3 days later Snape's parents were, newly enamoured with each other, on their way to their next cruise – of course only after Snape's mother had forced the promise out of her son to meet them soon for a dinner and to bring his partner with him. She also left him, as a surprise, a few colored robes and hoped he would like them.

2 days after the departure of the Snapes, a couple of students observed how a gleefully looking potions master burned sth. near the lake.

To the disappointment of all the pupils and, to be honest, also of the entire teaching staff

the quietness of before returned – until the four sisters of Snape arrived in Hogwarts. But that is another story.

THE END


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